Relationship Behaviour

In our relationships behaviour can be:

Passive – by being passive we are saying to people that we are not as important as they are. We let other people’s needs and rights take priority over our own. We often fail to communicate our own needs. Passive behaviour can lead us to feel like victims.

Aggressive: aggressive behaviour can be honest or dishonest, intended or unitended, active or passive, direct or indirect; but is always creates an impression of superiority. It is saying that my needs, wants and rights are more important than other people’s. The aggressive attempts to overpower the other person by not allowing them a choice.

Assertive: assertiveness is active, honest and direct. It communicates our impression of respect for both yourself and the other person. It says that our needs, wants and rights are equally important as each other’s. Assertive behaviour requires good listening and negotiating skills, so that the other person feels that their point of view is being heard and respected, even if you don’t agree with it. This should lead to open and honest relationships and success without resentment.

5sos visuals | Couples, Hug gif, Hugging couple

PSYCHOLOGY: What Is Gestalt Therapy?

“Gestalt therapy is a client-centered approach to psychotherapy that helps clients focus on the present and understand what is really happening in their lives right now, rather than what they may perceive to be happening based on past experience. Instead of simply talking about past situations, clients are encouraged to experience them, perhaps through re-enactment. Through the gestalt process, clients learn to become more aware of how their own negative thought patterns and behaviors are blocking true self-awareness and making them unhappy.

When It’s Used
Gestalt therapy can help clients with issues such as anxiety, depression, self-esteem, relationship difficulties, and even physical ones like migraine headaches, ulcerative colitis, and back spasms. Good candidates for gestalt therapy are those who are interested in working on their self-awareness but may or may not understand the role they play in their own unhappiness and discomfort. Gestalt techniques are often used in combination with body work, dance, art, drama, and other therapies.

What to Expect
A gestalt therapist focuses on what is happening in the moment and finding solutions in the present time. For examples, rather than discuss why something happened in the past, the therapist will encourage you to re-enact the moment and discuss how it feels right now. In other words, you will be asked to experience your feelings, rather than simply talk about them. The therapist will ask you questions like, “What’s going on in this moment?” or “How does this make you feel now?” Your therapist may experiment with dream work, guided fantasy, role-playing, confrontation, and other techniques that can help bring past and current struggles to life in the therapeutic setting. Your goal, as you become more aware of yourself and your senses, is to take more responsibility for yourself, accept the consequences of your behavior, and learn to satisfy your own needs while still respecting the needs of others.

How It Works
The word “gestalt” means whole. Gestalt therapy was developed by psychotherapist Fritz Perls on the principle that humans are best viewed as a whole entity consisting of body, mind, and soul, and best understood when viewed through their own eyes, not by looking back into the past but by bringing the past into the present. Gestalt therapy emphasizes that to alleviate unresolved anger, pain, anxiety, resentment, and other negative feelings, these emotions cannot just be discussed, but must be actively expressed in the present time. If that doesn’t happen, both psychological and physical symptoms can arise. Perls believed that we are not in this world to live up to others’ expectations, nor should we expect others to live up to ours. By building self-awareness, gestalt therapy helps clients better understand themselves and how the choices they make affect their health and their relationships. With this self-knowledge, clients begin to understand how their emotional and physical selves are connected and develop more self-confidence to start living a fuller life and more effectively deal with problems.

What to Look for in a Gestalt Therapist
Look for a licensed, experienced psychotherapist with a gestalt approach toward therapy. In addition to fulfilling their general education and licensing requirements, some therapists may take continuing education courses and training in gestalt therapy techniques. Once you have established that a therapist has the credentials and experience you are looking for, be sure you understand and are comfortable with the process as explained by the therapist.”


What Is Colour Therapy?

“Colour Therapy is an entirely non-invasive holistic treatment which aims to bring balance to the energy of our body. It is often used as a complementary therapy alongside other treatments, and is a popular go-to practice for people suffering depression, stress, and seasonal affective disorder.

Scientifically, colours have been proven to affect our moods and perception, and there is evidence of this form of therapy dating back to ancient Egypt, historic China and ages-old India. In fact, healing by means of color and light was the first type of ‘therapy’ used by man.

Colour is a very important part of healing and can be used hand-in-hand with crystals to help us achieve our best potential – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually as humans.

The theory
Simply put, colour is just light of varying wavelengths and frequencies. Electromagnetic waves constantly surround us, and colour is part of those waves. Every single cell in the body needs light energy. Our cells absorb colour, and this affects us on every level, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Each colour has a different frequency, thereby having a different effect on the body when exposed. It is thought that the famous colours of the rainbow, red, yellow, green, blue, orange, violet and indigo resonate with the main energy centres of the body.

How Reiki can help your workflow
It is widely believed that we have seven main energy centres. These are referred to as chakras. The sanskrit word meaning ‘wheel’ or ‘disk’, and is thought of as a set of cogs like the workings of a clock. The chakras surround major nerve bundles and organs.

The energy which relates to the seven spectrum colours, resonates with the seven main chakras. If we are going through a hardship or suffering an ailment, our chakras will not be working in harmony. The balance of energy in the body’s chakras is vital for wellbeing, so when there is a spanner in the works for whatever reason, it negatively affects us. A colour therapist can help you determine what colours you need to be influenced by in order to stimulate or unblock certain chakras.

“To visualise a chakra in the body, imagine a swirling wheel of energy where matter and consciousness meet.”

The treatment
Today, there are quite a few ways which colour therapy can be administered. One of the most popularly utilised methods is by shining concentrated coloured lights directly onto the body. Glass bottled liquids of different colours are also used, or small torches with coloured beams. The torches are aimed at the chakras, acupressure points or ‘colourpuncture points,’ to stimulate the area and allow energy to flow more freely through the body. Another way of conducting colour therapy is by wearing coloured silks.

Colour Therapy

I asked a certified colour therapist and acquaintance Peter Wills if I could just perhaps eat the appropriately coloured M&M to achieve the same effect and save me a trip to his practice. I’ve been doing it for years I said, and it always makes me feel better. “That would be the sugar rush.” He replied in laughter. Well hey, I’m not giving up the M&Ms anytime soon, but I will admit, they are colourful and they do make me feel good. What’s colour therapy again? I think I just defined it fantastically.

On a more serious note though, it’s hard to ignore the stories of people who have received colour therapy and emerged feeling ways they didn’t think they could. There are many people sharing their experiences, even celebrities are raving about it. The thing about holistic practices, especially something like colour therapy, is that it’s beneficial and appropriate for people of all ages or condition. It’s not hard to see why holistic treatments have become as globally popular as they are today.

Pippa Merivale (Colour Therapist), explained to The Guardian what one might feel after a session. ”Colour is light; it throws light on things and shows you what you’ve not spotted in yourself – talents and gifts and hidden strengths, as well as the erroneous zones that it can help you to dissolve and flush out if you choose. You will emerge from a consultation with a feeling of freshness, a sense of authentic power and that’s exciting and very new.”

“People are like stained-glass windows They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Saving lives
Phototherapy, which is a treatment that utilises blue-coloured light, is specifically administered to newborn babies suffering jaundice. Jaundice is a medical condition which occurs when there is an obstruction of the bile duct, liver disease or an excessive break down of red blood cells. The most apparent symptom being yellowing of the skin or whites of the eyes, created by the pigment bilirubin which is a waste product. This process is called photo-oxidation. Simply put, the light penetrates the skin, adding oxygen to convert the excess bilirubin into a substance that can be safely excreted. Infants that are afflicted with this condition are effectively cured by this treatment, and that my friends is how light can save a life.”


What Are Spirit Attachments? & Release Therapy

“Spirit Attachment Symptoms and Release Therapy

Spirit Release Therapy is an approach to clear a spirit entity from a persons energy field that has been affecting their well being. A spirit entity is the consciousness of a person who has died and left their physical body but remained earthbound. When it attaches itself to a building its referred to as a ghost and when it attaches to a person its often called a spirit attachment.

spirit release therapy

Are Spirit Attachments Real?

The existence of spirit attachments is a controversial subject. Michael Newton, who introduced the amazing spiritual world between lives in his book Journey of Souls (1), takes the position that spirit attachments do not exist. This was based on the accounts of thousands of clients who in their life between lives never mentioned they had a spirit attachment. Past life and regression therapists belonging to Spiritual Regression Therapy Association and also of the Earth Association of Regression Therapy have found amazing reduction in client symptoms after releasing what appeared to be spirit attachments. Regression therapy pioneers including Hans Ten dam, Roger Woolger and myself teach it in our training schools.

Spirit Attachment & Possession Symptoms

The research I did with Ian Lawton in the book Exploring the Eternal Soul (2) made a small contribution in untangling this subject. The research subjects had previously experienced a between lives regression to explore soul memories in deep hypnosis. In the second session interactive communication was established to the evolved spirits of light called by a variety of names such as Council, Elders, and Wise Ones encountered on this journey. I’ll refer to them as Elders in this article. These evolved spirits are beyond the need to reincarnate on Earth and review a soul’s life plan and the final preparation before incarnation. Working in a group they have a collective knowledge far greater than any individual spirit. Also, because the client is in deep hypnosis, conscious mind interference is minimised. Structured questions were asked about a range of subjects including spirit attachments. The reliability of the information was established by looking for consistency between the answers from ten different groups of Elders working through ten different subjects.

All the groups of Elders confirmed that after death some souls do not immediately return to the spirit realms and remain earthbound for a variety of reasons – they are not aware they are dead, wanting to stay with loved ones on the earth plane, fear of going to the light, the attraction of staying in the material world, and sometimes because the unsolved negative energy they hold makes it difficult to respond to the pull home. When a person with spirit attachments dies some attachments may leave of their own accord. Others remain attached until the soul has crossed over and gone for energy healing. At that time they are removed by a lattice work of energy filters and given a choice of continuing to be earthbound or going to the spirit realms. This happens without the client’s soul being aware of the process. It is worth remembering that following physical death consciousness is often in a confused state and in physical life most people are unaware they have a spirit attachment. So it is not surprising that life between lives clients do not mention they have had a spirit attachment removed.

The research confirmed that spirit attachments can either be lightly attached at the edges of a person’s energy field or are deep inside on a hook. The hook is when the person went through some emotional crisis earlier in life, which provided an opening in their energy field for the discarnate to enter. It’s like a form of psychic resonance – the unsolved emotions of the discarnate and the person’s current life issues. This is important to know because after the spirit attachment is removed the person’s current life issues need to be resolved to remove the hook. Otherwise this is an opening for other discarnate energies to attach to in the future.

Symptoms of Spirit Attachments

Fringe spirit attachments, where the energy sits at the very outside of a person’s energy system, may have little effect just feeling low in energy. But then there are other spirit attachments that can be much deeper, where the soul energy almost feeds off the energy of the person to whom they have become attached and they feel low in energy. They most commonly have an effect upon a person’s health, because their energy is being disrupted.

There can be a merging of thought processes if the attachment is deep enough and has dense enough energies, so that the person they’ve attached to starts to experience unwanted thoughts and emotional outburst which come from the spirit attachment. A person may feel drawn towards some behaviour they would not normally do. If the attachment has a large enough opening, they might be allowing that soul energy to really live through them, and even to take them over in some way.

History of Spirit Release

The history of spirit release therapy involves many of the world religions and shamanic traditions that have mentioned removing spiritual entities. When performed by religious person such as a priest its called exorcism.

One of the first medical doctors using spirit release was Dr Carl Wickland (3) who in 1924 released an earthbound spirit with the help of mediumship from his wife, and spent the next 30 years pioneering this work. Among his recorded cases were patients diagnosed with psychosis that was resolved following spirit release. This is of particular interest because it represents a group of patients whose suffering is at the extreme end of the scale of mental illnesses, and the most difficult to treat using traditional medical and psychotherapeutic methods.

William Baldwin’s book Spirit Releasement Therapy (4) was a breakthrough in documenting many of the techniques that could be used with spirit release. Psychiatrist Shakuntala Modi (5) also added to this body of knowledge, and Louise Ireland-Frey in her book Freeing the Captives (6) introduced more respectability in the subject given her professional medical background. All gave examples of clients whose therapist followed a protocol assuming the presence of spirit attachments and their client’s symptoms of intrusive thoughts, loss of energy, and unwanted behaviours immediately improved.

Meanwhile in the UK Dr Alan Sanderson, a consultant psychiatrist at Fairfield Hospital, quietly used release therapy in the Health Service. Since leaving in 1997 (7) he gave talks of his case studies and successes with spirit release to the Spirituality Special Interest Group of the Royal College of Psychiatrists. In 2000 he established the Spirit Release Foundation (8) backed by a group medical practitioners and complementary therapists. It aimed to redress the imbalance between the experiences of professionals in private practice and the need for education in mainstream psychiatry.

Spirit Release Therapy Techniques

Detection can use a pendulum yes and no signals, scanning a person’s energy field and feeling the energy, using a clients subconscious ideo-motor finger signalling while in trance or various kinesiology tests. Whilst this is fine most of the time some spirit attachments can block the communication and remain undetected. The therapist needs to have independent methods of detection, including intuition or their own ideo-motor finger signalling.

The simplest way to do spirit release is to ask a spirit guide to clear the spirit attachment and confirm its been removed with a pendulum. While this is fine for fringe spirit attachments spirit guides are unable to clear those deeper in a persons energy field without leaving energy fragments behind. For those and spirit attachments unwilling to leave communication is needed.

Though some therapists may encourage the client to talk directly to the attachment, I find it easier to allow the attachment to talk through the client while in trance. This also causes the client’s conscious mind to disassociate taking them into deeper trance.

Communication initially is aimed at weakening the hold the spirit attachment has on the client – reminding the attachment it is dead, that it is not in its own body, and that the client does not want it.

The strategy then is to find out what is needed for it to go to the spirit realms – reunited with a loved one, recreating some aspect of the human world, or overcoming any fear. With these and other intuitive insights spirit attachments are normally eager to return home.

Finally the client’s energy field needs filling with healing energy and any hook removed through regression therapy. My book Healing the Eternal Soul (9) goes into these techniques in more detail. Students taught these approaches enjoy doing the work because it’s quick, done with love, and allows them to use their intuition. This is totally different from exorcism that uses fear to try and force the spirit attachment from the person, which often results in the spirit attachment jumping to another person.

So what happens with spirit attachments that are unresponsive to leaving the client despite all the persuasive attempts of the therapist? Hans TenDam calls them obsessors. William Baldwin had a powerful technique of bringing down love/light to the spirit attachment that transforms them. I prefer creating an energy portal using high vibrational energy intuitively controlled to flush way the unwanted energy through the portal. Afterwards healing energy is given to the client. My book Transforming the Eternal Soul covers this in more detail.

Spirit Attachments - Andrew Porter

What Happens in Spirit Release Therapy?

Normally a single session is enough to clear spirit attachments by a professionally trained therapist. If the persons emotional issues have opened their energy field for the spirit attachment to enter this needs resolving to stop new attachments entering in the future, and more sessions will be needed.”


What Is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?

What is CBT?
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a type of talking treatment which focuses on how your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes affect your feelings and behaviour, and teaches you coping skills for dealing with different problems.

It combines cognitive therapy (examining the things you think) and behaviour therapy (examining the things you do).

Making sense of CBT
CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is one of the most common treatments for a range of mental health problems, from anxiety, depression, bipolar, OCD or schizophrenia.

“I have depression. [CBT is] very, very good for helping [me] not listen to [my] self critical voice, which is so damaging.”

What’s the theory behind CBT?
CBT is based on the idea that the way we think about situations can affect the way we feel and behave. For example, if you interpret a situation negatively then you might experience negative emotions as a result, and those bad feelings might then lead you to behave in a certain way.

Happiness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy | Family Matters

How does negative thinking start?
Negative thinking patterns can start from childhood onwards. For example, if you didn’t receive much attention or praise from your parents or teachers at school, you might’ve thought “I’m useless, I’m not good enough”.

Over time you might come to believe these assumptions, until as an adult these negative thoughts become automatic. This way of thinking might then affect how you feel at work, university or in your general life.

If your negative interpretation of situations goes unchallenged, then these patterns in your thoughts, feelings and behaviour can become part of a continuous cycle:

How does CBT work?
In CBT you work with a therapist to identify and challenge any negative thinking patterns and behaviour which may be causing you difficulties. In turn this can change the way you feel about situations, and enable you to change your behaviour in future.

You and your therapist might focus on what is going on in your life right now, but you might also look at your past, and think about how your past experiences impact the way you see the world.”


psychotic gifs Page 2 | WiffleGif

What Is Neuro-Linguistic Programming?

I am starting NLP tomorrow and wanted to find out what I was heading into.. Here’s article that explains the therapy.

“Neuro-linguistic programming is a way of changing someone’s thoughts and behaviors to help achieve desired outcomes for the

The popularity of neuro-linguistic programming or NLP has become widespread since it started in the 1970s. Its uses include treatment of phobias and anxiety disorders and improvement of workplace performance or personal happiness.

What is NLP? Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

This article will explore the theory behind NLP and what evidence there is supporting its practice.

What is NLP?
NLP can be used for personal development, phobias, and anxiety.
NLP uses perceptual, behavioral, and communication techniques to make it easier for people to change their thoughts and actions.

NLP relies on language processing but should not be confused with natural language processing, which shares the same acronym.

NLP was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, who believed it was possible to identify the patterns of thoughts and behaviors of successful individuals and to teach them to others.

Despite a lack of empirical evidence to support it, Bandler and Grinder published two books, The Structure of Magic I and II, and NLP took off. Its popularity was partly due to its versatility in addressing the many diverse issues that people face.

How does it work?
The varying interpretations of NLP make it hard to define. It is founded on the idea that people operate by internal “maps” of the world that they learn through sensory experiences.

NLP tries to detect and modify unconscious biases or limitations of an individual’s map of the world.

NLP is not hypnotherapy. Instead, it operates through the conscious use of language to bring about changes in someone’s thoughts and behavior.

For example, a central feature of NLP is the idea that a person is biased towards one sensory system, known as the preferred representational system or PRS.

Therapists can detect this preference through language. Phrases such as “I see your point” may signal a visual PRS. Or “I hear your point” may signal an auditory PRS.

An NLP practitioner will identify a person’s PRS and base their therapeutic framework around it. The framework could involve rapport-building, information-gathering, and goal-setting with them.

NLP is a broad field of practice. As such, NLP practitioners use many different techniques that include the following:

NLP is used as a method of personal development through promoting skills, such as self-reflection, confidence, and communication.

Neuro linguistic programming courses and NLP workshops can improve ...

Practitioners have applied NLP commercially to achieve work-orientated goals, such as improved productivity or job progression.

More widely, it has been applied as a therapy for psychological disorders, including phobias, depression, generalized anxiety disorders or GAD, and post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD.

Does NLP work?
So far, there has not been any rigorous research to prove the effectiveness of NLP.
Determining the effectiveness of NLP is challenging for several reasons.

NLP has not been subject to the same standard of scientific rigor as more established therapies, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT.

The lack of formal regulation and NLP’s commercial value mean that claims of its effectiveness can be anecdotal or supplied by an NLP provider. NLP providers will have a financial interest in the success of NLP, so their evidence is difficult to use.

Furthermore, scientific research on NLP has produced mixed results.

Some studies have found benefits associated with NLP. For example, a study published in the journal Counselling and Psychotherapy Research found psychotherapy patients had improved psychological symptoms and life quality after having NLP compared to a control group.

However, a review published in The British Journal of General Practice of 10 available studies on NLP was less favorable.

It concluded there was little evidence for the effectiveness of NLP in treating health-related conditions, including anxiety disorders, weight management, and substance misuse. This was due to the limited amount and quality of the research studies that were available, rather than evidence that showed NLP did not work.

In 2014, a report by the Canadian Agency for Drugs and Technology in Health found no clinical evidence for the effectiveness of NLP in the treatment of PTSD, GAD, or depression.

However, a further research review published in 2015 did find NLP therapy to have a positive impact on individuals with social or psychological problems, although the authors said more investigation was needed.

The theoretical basis for NLP has also attracted criticism for lacking evidence-based support.

A paper published in 2009 concluded that after three decades, the theories behind NLP were still not credible, and evidence for its effectiveness was only anecdotal.

A 2010 review paper sought to assess the research findings relating to the theories behind NLP. Of the 33 included studies, only 18 percent were found to support NLP’s underlying theories.

So, despite more than 4 decades of its existence, neither the effectiveness of NLP or the validity of the theories have been clearly demonstrated by solid research.

Also, it is worth noting, that research has mainly been conducted in therapeutic settings, with few studies into the effectiveness of NLP in commercial environments.

Studying how well NLP works has several practical issues as well, adding to the lack of clarity surrounding the subject. For example, it is difficult to directly compare studies given the range of different methods, techniques, and outcomes.

What Is NLP? | Neuro Linguistic Programming | NLP Academy

Take home
NLP has become very popular over the years. This popularity may have been driven by the fact that practitioners can use it in many different fields and contexts.

However, the broad ideas that NLP is built upon, and the lack of a formal body to monitor its use, mean that the methods and quality of practice can vary considerably. In any case, clear and impartial evidence to support its effectiveness has yet to emerge.

For these reasons, it is possible that good marketing has also contributed to the widespread popularity of NLP, particularly in the commercial sector.”