“As long as our egos choose illusion over truth seeking we will be at odds with each other.”
“A psychic vampire (or energy vampire) is a fictional and religious creature said to feed off the “life force” of other living creatures. The term can also be used to describe a person who gets increased energy around other people, but leaves those other people exhausted or “drained” of energy.”
What is an energy vampire?
Energy vampires are people who — sometimes intentionally — drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed.
Energy vampires can be anywhere and anyone. They can be your spouse or your best friend. They can be your cubicle mate or your neighbor.
Learning how to identify and respond to this toxic behavior can help you preserve your energy and protect yourself from a great deal of emotional — and physical — distress.
Read on to learn more about how an energy vampire acts and what you can do next.
They don’t take accountability
Energy vampires are often charismatic. They may slink out of trouble when problems arise because of this charm.
They’re crafty and may pin problems on someone else in almost every situation.
They never accept culpability for their role in any disagreement or issue. You’re often left holding the guilt — and possibly the blame.
“I can’t believe no one could get this right. What an embarrassment!”
“I just sat there. He kept getting angry at me, and I still don’t know what I did.”
They’re always involved in some kind of drama
Energy vampires always find themselves in the middle of a catastrophe, flailing from target to target with their emotional and dramatic behavior.
When they’ve landed on you, they fling this drama onto you in hopes you’ll absorb it, fix it, and right their ship.
“Why am I always the one everyone gets mad at? I don’t deserve this.”
“I just can’t take this anymore. I didn’t do anything to Ellen, but she’s stopped talking to me. Why can’t everyone be as kind as you?”
They always one-up you
An energy vampire never likes to be outdone, and they aren’t keen to share the spotlight. This is one of their many narcissistic tendencies.
They struggle to feel genuine happiness for another person. Instead, they prefer to pull energy to feed their emotional demands.
“That’s really good news. I actually applied for a new job today, too, and I really need some help with my resume. Do you mind looking it over?”
“So proud of you! Only three more certifications to go to catch up with me!”
They diminish your problems and play up their own
Energy vampires feed off your emotional energy. And if you’re sad or upset, your energy supplies are dwindling.
To drain the most energy from you, energy vampires will shift the attention of the discussion to themselves, turning your dismay into their emotional buffet.
“I know your job doesn’t pay well, but at least your job is fun. You have to help me find a new one.”
“You’re super swamped at work, and I get it, but I really, really need to talk to you tonight about this issue with Mark.”
They act like a martyr
Energy vampires place their problems squarely on the shoulders of other people. They take no responsibility for their contributions to their difficulties.
What they’re seeking is emotional support to boost their self-esteem.
“He’s always so unreasonable. I do the best I can, but it’s just never enough.”
“This day started off bad and it only got worse.”
They use your good nature against you
People who are sensitive and compassionate are prime targets for energy vampires. You offer a listening ear, a kind heart, and endless energy.
In that way, energy vampires use your very nature against you, draining you of your vitality.
They monopolize your time at every social occasion so they can have as much of your energy as they can get.
They know you’ll feel guilty turning them down for coffee or a dinner date, so they ask regularly.
They use guilt trips or ultimatums
Energy vampires often rely on guilt trips to get what they want. They know shame is a great weapon against people who are compassionate and caring.
Likewise, ultimatums are an effective way to capture a person’s attention and coerce them into doing something they otherwise may not want to do.
“I don’t know how you expect me to make it without you. I’ll fall apart.”
“If you really care for me, you’ll call him and tell him how much I love him.”
Codependency is a type of relationship where every action is designed to elicit a certain reaction from the other individual.
It’s a vicious cycle of behavior, but energy vampires rarely recognize that they’re in them.
They use these relationships — often romantic ones — to continue spinning a cycle of drama and emotional need.
“I know this isn’t a good relationship, but it’s so much better than trying to get over him and learn to date again.”
“If I just ignore him for a few days, he’ll totally beg for forgiveness and come crawling back.”
They criticize or bully
At their core, energy vampires are often insecure. They may use dehumanizing tactics and criticisms to keep their “prey” insecure, too.
In this state, you feel like you owe them your attention and should continue to work to stop the unwarranted attacks.
“I was too stupid to expect better from you. Everyone else treats me like garbage, so why not you?”
“You were in over your head from the beginning, and I told you that.”
One step removed from criticizing or bullying you, intimidation is a tool some energy vampires turn to when they need to stir up some emotional fodder.
Fear is a very strong emotional reaction. If an energy vampire can upset you, they can bolster their ego.
“I won’t tell you this again and again.”
“You don’t deserve a promotion. You don’t show that you even really want it.”
Why it matters and what to do
Energy vampires demand a lot from the people they target.
This continuous drain on your resources can have a noticeable effect on your well-being. Over time, excess stress can lead to anxiety, depression, heart disease, and more.
That’s why it’s important to recognize the behaviors and then work to remove them.
This may involve putting up walls to protect against an energy vampire’s efforts — or removing the person from your life entirely.
The ideas below may not work for everyone. Try them and mold your approach as you go until you’re able to feel in control and protected.
Although this may be easier said than done at first, you can and should develop areas of your life where you won’t allow an energy vampire to enter.
Don’t agree to social events like dinner or coffee dates. Avoid weekend trips and other extended events where they’ll be in attendance.
At work, you can limit interactions between the two of you by not agreeing to lunches and not stopping by their desk to chat.
You may need to start small, focusing on a few areas, and then expand.
Adjust your expectations
You can’t fix an energy vampire, but you can reshape your expectations about them.
This may involve shutting off your emotional valve and not offering advice when they vent their problems to you.
This may also mean you can’t use them as any type of emotional release either. They’ll want to reciprocate.
Don’t give them an inch
If the energy vampire calls, stops by, or texts, don’t give them the room.
Offer an excuse — “I’m too tired” or “I’m too busy” will do. You could say that you’ve got plans or don’t feel well.
When they keep interfacing with excuses and not getting the emotional energy they need, they’ll look elsewhere.
Guard your emotional capacity
Energy vampires use nonverbal cues to know when they have someone on the hook. Your facial expression, the way you lean in, how you clasp your hands — an energy vampire can take these as signs of your investment.
If you instead offer stone-faced responses and only offer short statement to their questions, you won’t open yourself up to their demands, and you can reserve your energy for you.
Cut them out entirely
In most cases, you have the freedom to excise this person from your life entirely. This may seem dramatic, but you have to remember that you’re protecting yourself in the end.
The bottom line
By recognizing these behaviors and trying to put an end to it, you’re protecting yourself, your health, and your overall well-being.
No one deserves to be mistreated or used in this manner. It’s certainly not your fault.
Some people refuse to accept responsibility for their own emotional maturity — and that isn’t your burden to bear.”
“Colour Therapy is an entirely non-invasive holistic treatment which aims to bring balance to the energy of our body. It is often used as a complementary therapy alongside other treatments, and is a popular go-to practice for people suffering depression, stress, and seasonal affective disorder.
Scientifically, colours have been proven to affect our moods and perception, and there is evidence of this form of therapy dating back to ancient Egypt, historic China and ages-old India. In fact, healing by means of color and light was the first type of ‘therapy’ used by man.
Colour is a very important part of healing and can be used hand-in-hand with crystals to help us achieve our best potential – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually as humans.
Simply put, colour is just light of varying wavelengths and frequencies. Electromagnetic waves constantly surround us, and colour is part of those waves. Every single cell in the body needs light energy. Our cells absorb colour, and this affects us on every level, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Each colour has a different frequency, thereby having a different effect on the body when exposed. It is thought that the famous colours of the rainbow, red, yellow, green, blue, orange, violet and indigo resonate with the main energy centres of the body.
How Reiki can help your workflow
It is widely believed that we have seven main energy centres. These are referred to as chakras. The sanskrit word meaning ‘wheel’ or ‘disk’, and is thought of as a set of cogs like the workings of a clock. The chakras surround major nerve bundles and organs.
The energy which relates to the seven spectrum colours, resonates with the seven main chakras. If we are going through a hardship or suffering an ailment, our chakras will not be working in harmony. The balance of energy in the body’s chakras is vital for wellbeing, so when there is a spanner in the works for whatever reason, it negatively affects us. A colour therapist can help you determine what colours you need to be influenced by in order to stimulate or unblock certain chakras.
“To visualise a chakra in the body, imagine a swirling wheel of energy where matter and consciousness meet.”
Today, there are quite a few ways which colour therapy can be administered. One of the most popularly utilised methods is by shining concentrated coloured lights directly onto the body. Glass bottled liquids of different colours are also used, or small torches with coloured beams. The torches are aimed at the chakras, acupressure points or ‘colourpuncture points,’ to stimulate the area and allow energy to flow more freely through the body. Another way of conducting colour therapy is by wearing coloured silks.
I asked a certified colour therapist and acquaintance Peter Wills if I could just perhaps eat the appropriately coloured M&M to achieve the same effect and save me a trip to his practice. I’ve been doing it for years I said, and it always makes me feel better. “That would be the sugar rush.” He replied in laughter. Well hey, I’m not giving up the M&Ms anytime soon, but I will admit, they are colourful and they do make me feel good. What’s colour therapy again? I think I just defined it fantastically.
On a more serious note though, it’s hard to ignore the stories of people who have received colour therapy and emerged feeling ways they didn’t think they could. There are many people sharing their experiences, even celebrities are raving about it. The thing about holistic practices, especially something like colour therapy, is that it’s beneficial and appropriate for people of all ages or condition. It’s not hard to see why holistic treatments have become as globally popular as they are today.
Pippa Merivale (Colour Therapist), explained to The Guardian what one might feel after a session. ”Colour is light; it throws light on things and shows you what you’ve not spotted in yourself – talents and gifts and hidden strengths, as well as the erroneous zones that it can help you to dissolve and flush out if you choose. You will emerge from a consultation with a feeling of freshness, a sense of authentic power and that’s exciting and very new.”
“People are like stained-glass windows They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”
Phototherapy, which is a treatment that utilises blue-coloured light, is specifically administered to newborn babies suffering jaundice. Jaundice is a medical condition which occurs when there is an obstruction of the bile duct, liver disease or an excessive break down of red blood cells. The most apparent symptom being yellowing of the skin or whites of the eyes, created by the pigment bilirubin which is a waste product. This process is called photo-oxidation. Simply put, the light penetrates the skin, adding oxygen to convert the excess bilirubin into a substance that can be safely excreted. Infants that are afflicted with this condition are effectively cured by this treatment, and that my friends is how light can save a life.”